"Mark Cuban To Take Over USA Soccer" joke

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was tapped today to make soccer more popular in the United States. To increase appeal to American audiences, forwards will be able to use their hands to throw the ball in the net. They will also be able to use hockey sticks, but only on opposing players - using the stick on the ball will result in a Nextel Yellow Card. And if play gets tied up in the middle third of the field for over 15 seconds, each team will be required to send out a female dance squad to perform in front of each goal.

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