"Master of His Romaine" joke

An Illinois high school senior was arrested on charges that he ejaculated into a a bottle of ranch dressing in the school cafeteria.

School officials are checking with lawyers to see if they need to change the labels on the bottles which say Newman's Own.
Police charged the student, Marco Raphael Castro, with misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct and attempted aggravated battery.

Castro was in even bigger trouble when he got home that evening and found out his mom had discovered the back issues of Vegetarian Times hidden in his dresser.

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