"Men Are Like..." joke

Men are like....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like....Vacations. They never seem long enough.
Men are like....Bank machines.Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Men are like....Weather. Nothing can be done about either one of them.
Men are like....Blenders. You need one but your not quite sure why.
Men are like....Cement. After getting laid, they take along time to get hard.
Men are like....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like....Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like....Lawn Mowers. If your not pushing one around, you're riding it.
Men are like....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like....Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.