"Minutes before the cremation" joke

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he asked."He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder than I am.""Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home, wouldnt you say?"

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic." I'm sorry," says Socialism, "I was standing in line for more...

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Teacher-What Did Your Father Present Your Sister On Her Birthday?
Student-She Wanted To See The Whole World, So He Gave Her An Atlas!

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