"Mississippi's finest" joke

GLN (Good-Looking Nerd): "Can I help you?"
MHP (Mississippi Highway Patrolman): "Do you know how fast you were
going, boy?"
GLN: "I'm not sure. The needle doesn't reach the high numbers very well.
I would estimate somewhere between 80 and 85, closer to 85."
MHP: "You were going 84 miles an hour."
GLN: "See, I was close. I must've been going uphill."
MHP: "What was that?"
GLN: "Oh, nothing. Is there some reason you pulled me over?"
MHP: "I'm going to have to give you a ticket, boy."
GLN: "No thank you."
MHP: "What was that?"
GLN: "If it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon you keep your
ticket. I don't really have any use for one."
MHP: "Don't try to weasel your way out of this, boy. I'm going to
give you a ticket."
GLN: "What for?"
MHP: "WHAT FOR??? Speeding, that's what!"
GLN: "You mean you're going to give me a ticket for going two miles
per hour over the speed limit?"
MHP: "TWO MILES??? Don't you know what the speed limit is, boy?"
GLN: "It's posted on the white sign with black letters, right?"
MHP: "Right."
GLN: "82. That's what the sign said, '82.'"
MHP: "That's not the speed limit. This is highway 82."
GLN: "I thought this was highway 55. It goes through Winona."
MHP: "55 is the speed limit. This is highway 82. I-55 goes through
Memphis and Jackson."
GLN: "But I'm going to Starkville, not Memphis or Jackson. You must
be confused."
MHP: "This is NOT I-55. This IS highway 82, and it does go to Starkville."
GLN: "That's right. I'm going to Starkville on highway 55, and the
speed limit is 82. I don't think you should give me a ticket for
going two miles over the speed limit."
MHP: "The speed limit is 55. Didn't you see the sign with the words
'SPEED LIMIT' and the number '55' on it?"
GLN: "I was wondering why they would write that on the sign telling the
name of the highway."
MHP: "It ISN'T the highway sign. The highway is 82, and the speed limit
is 55."
GLN: "Do you think you could hurry up and get to the point? I'm kind of
in a hurry."
MHP: "Is this your car?"
GLN: "Yes, do you like it?"
MHP: "Would you turn down that music?"
GLN: "It's Aretha Franklin. It goes with the car, don't you think?
What are you doing?"
MHP: "I'm writing you a ticket."
GLN: "For going two miles over the speed limit?"
MHP: "No, for going TWENTY-NINE miles an hour over the speed limit."
GLN: "Do you think that's unsafe?"
MHP: "Absolutely. It's very unsafe."
GLN: "If I was going so fast, then how did you catch me?"
MHP: "Well, uh..."
GLN: "Do you think it's safe for you to drive that fast?"
MHP: "Yes. I've been trained for high-speed pursuit."
GLN: "Don't you think it's rather hypocritical of you to be giving me
a ticket? How many wrecks have you had?"
MHP: "That's irrelevant."
GLN: "Did you see that?"
MHP: "What?"
GLN: "That black car just sideswiped your patrol car and kept going.
If you hurry, you can probably catch him."
MHP: "#@*%^$! And that's my new patrol car, too. You wait here while
I apprehend that criminal!"
GLN: "Yeah, right."