"Modern curses" joke

The following is a list of modern curses, curses appropriate to the modern times, because the old ones are no longer relevant. People will appreciate being cursed with curses with which they can personally identify.
May your personal organizer crash
May you be always stuck in rush hour
May hackers use your name
May Revenue Canada (or the I.R.S.) do an audit
May your diet fail
May your liposuction oversuck
May your hair fall out, and your teeth fall in
May your children be academically minded and stay at school forever
May traffic officers hate you
May your accountant be honest
May your children sue, grabbit and run
May your opposite gender boss desire you
May your air conditioning fail
May your laptop crash
May a computer take over your wife
May your mechanic be incompetent
May you be flammed of the net
May your dog eat your remote
May the save function always fail
May global warming flood your beach house
May your web site win "The Most Awful Web Site" Award.