"More Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously" joke

- OK,... so what's the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
- Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.