"Moshe with Appendicitis" joke
Moshe wakes up one morning and says to his wife, Sadie:
"Aaarrrggghhh, Sadie! I've got a terrible pain on the left side of my body....aaarrrggghhh....I think I must have appendicitis!"
Sadie sighs and says, "Don't be silly Moshe. You're appendix is on the right side of your body!"
At which Moshe replies, "Well that's the problem! My appendix is on the wrong side!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor, "I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job - if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to more...
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help more...