"New Milking Machine" joke
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since his wife was out of town when the equipment arrived, he decided to test it out on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.
Before long, he realized that the machine provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over though, he realized that he wasn't able to remove the machine from his penis.
He read the manual from front to back but couldn't find any helpful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still wasn't successful. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line.
"Hello, I just purchased one of your company's milking machines. It works great, but I can't figure out how to remove it from the cow's udder," he said.
"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "the machine is programmed to release automatically once it has collected two gallons."
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