"Noah Was Standing By..." joke

Noah was standing by his house one day, when a light came down and a voice said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of animal on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark. Here are the plans."

And Noah found that suddenly he had Ark plans in his hands. Noah said he would do as ordered.

"It will begin to rain in six months," said the voice. "You must better have the Ark completed, or you will certainly drown."

After six months, the skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. There was no Ark. Again a light came from the sky.

"Noah, where is my Ark?"

"Forgive me Lord," begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet Code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

"Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees in my area due to the endangered species designation of a kind of bird that lives among them.

"Next, the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with them. Now we have 40 carpenters going on the boat.

"Then I began gathering up the animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed Flood.

"The Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.

"Finally, the IRS seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country.

"I don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked, hopefully.

"Wrong! I still intend to smite the Earth, but with something far worse than a Flood. Something Man invented himself."

"What is that?" asked Noah.

"Government."