"Non-existent movie titles" joke

(I've been making a collection of people's mis-rememberences of movie
titles and making up descriptions of what the movies would be like if
they really existed. Here are a few examples:)
8 1/2 WEEKS-Considered by some to be Fellini's masterpiece.
A filmmaker is resting at a health spa and trying to write a new movie.
He is distracted, however, by his visions of whips, strawberries, and
a mysterious woman in white.
NATIONAL BLUE VELVET-Elizabeth Taylor plays a young woman
with a strange attraction to horses. Dennis Hopper plays the wacky,
demented jockey.
MIRACLE ON 42ND STREET-Santa Claus, in the off season, follows
his heart's desire and tries to make it big on Broadway. Santa
sings and dances his way into your heart.
COLOR ME PURPLE-Whoopi Goldberg was nominated for an
Academy Award (tm) for her part as a carnival face painter.
THE JAGGED RAZOR'S EDGE-This was made as a training film
for pubescent teens who are learning how to shave, but it contains
so much blood and gore that it is now considered a camp horror
classic. Look for the sequels, FACES OF DEATH, LEGS OF DEATH and
UNDERARMS OF DEATH.
Billy Green
Carrboro, NC