"Old Santa Was Pissed" joke

Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year
instead of "Thanks Santa", what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. ..
The elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids,
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better,
the assholes from the IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes- if that ain't damn funny,
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?
And the kids these days, they are all the pits.
They want the impossible, those mean little shits.
I spent the whole year making wagons and sleds,
assembling dolls... their arms, legs and heads.
I made a ton of yo-yo's no request for them,
they want computers and robots, they think I'm IBM.
If you think that's bad, just picture this,
try holding these brats with their pants full of piss.
They pull on my nose, they grab at my beard
and if I don't smile the parents think that I'm weird.
Flying through the air dodging the trees,
falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
I'm quitting this job, there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my ass and collect unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year and you know the reason.
I found me a blonde and I'm going South for the season.