"Once upon a time, there was a guy..." joke

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a
little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he
was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, "What do you have under the
newspaper, mister?"
"A Bird," the guy replied.
The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up,
he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what
happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was laying on the beach,
this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
The police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What
did you do to that naked fellow?" After a little pause, the girl replied,
"To him? Nothing. I was playing with his bird and it spit on me,
so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."