"People who should've won this year's Nobel Prize" joke
1. Britney Spears & Eminem: Who, combined, have written more books than they've read.
2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw: Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues.
3. America"s Oil Companies: For a lifetime body of work proving that oil and water don"t mix.
4. Yasser Arafat & Ariel Sharon: For those 2 consecutive days last March when no Israelis or Palestinians killed each other.
5. Bill Gates: For creating the X-Box and convincing Americans that their children need a $200 video game system during a recession.
6. The Editors of Maxim: For managing to create 300 magazine pages a month using no other subjects besides beer and models.
7. Jared: Of the Subway Sandwich fame, whose claim of losing hundreds of pounds and achieving optimum health by eating nothing but oversized, greasy heroes was questioned by no one.
8. Jennifer Lopez: Who, in conjunction with DuPont, developed a synthetic fabric capable of containing her ass.
9. That 300 Pound Guy: Who always manages to jam himself into the coach seat right next to yours on coast to coast flights.
10. Glaxo: Who has managed to make "loose stools" a side effect of every one of the drugs it produces.
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