"Positive side of old age 2" joke

You’ll no longer have to suffer the disappointment of thwarted ambitions – you no longer have any. You can finally sell those dreadful diet and exercise books that have sat unopened on the bookshelf for years. You’ll be the champ at history questions in the pub quiz. You can embarrass your family by entering glamorous granny or good-looking grandfather competitions. You don’t need to make an effort anymore – people will expect you to be frumpy, boring and cantankerous. Your failing memory allows you to convince yourself that you’re a super sex machine. You’ll be able to talk incessantly about the good old days. Your failing eyesight saves you the anguish of seeing your disintegrating body.

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