"REASONS FOR BEING FIRED FROM TOYSRUS" joke

- A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
- Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
- You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
- Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
- You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
- Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
- The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
- Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
- Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
- Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
- Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.
- Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack."
- Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success.
- Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.
- Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I'm on break."