"Redneck Census Form!" joke

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:
Last name: _______________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_)Billy-Bob (_)Billy-Joe (_)Billy-Ray (_)Billy-Sue (_)Billy-Mae (_)Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you? (_)Booger (_)Bubba (_)Junior (_)Sissy (_)Other____________
Age:____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sure
Shoe size:____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:(Check appropriate box) (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed (_)Dirty Politician (_)Preacher
Spouse's Name:_____________
2nd Spouse's Name:_______________
3rd Spouse's Name:_______________
Lover's Name:_______________
Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box) (_)Sister (_)Brother (_)Aunt (_)Uncle (_)Cousin (_)Mother (_)Father (_)Son (_)Daughter (_)Pet
Number of children living in the home:_____
Number of the children living in the shed:_____
Number that are yours:_____
Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade commpleted)
(Check appropriate box) Total number of vehicles you own:___ Number of vehicles that still crank:___ Number of vehicles in front yard:___ Number of vehicles in the back yard:___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks:___
Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____truck ____bedroom ____bathroom ____kitchen ____shed
Model and year of your pickup:196_
Do you have a gun rack? (_)Yes (_)No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest (_)Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:____
How often do you bathe? (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable
Color of eyes: Left_____ Right_____
Color of hair: (_)Blond (_)Black (_)Red (_)Brown (_)White (_)Clairol
Color of teeth: (_)White (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)just a whoop-and-a-holler (_)road?