"Redneck Census Form!" joke

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form: Last name: _______________________First name: (Check appropriate box)(_)Billy-Bob(_)Billy-Joe(_)Billy-Ray(_)Billy-Sue(_)Billy-Mae(_)Billy-JackWhat does everyone call you?(_)Booger(_)Bubba(_)Junior(_)Sissy(_)Other____________Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)Sex: ____ M ____ F ____Not sureShoe size: ____ Left ____ RightOccupation:(Check appropriate box)(_)Farmer(_)Mechanic(_)Hair Dresser(_)Unemployed(_)Dirty Politician(_)PreacherSpouse's Name: _____________2nd Spouse's Name: _______________3rd Spouse's Name: _______________Lover's Name: _______________Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)(_)Sister(_)Brother(_)Aunt(_)Uncle(_)Cousin (_)Mother(_)Father(_)Son(_)Daughter(_)PetNumber of children living in the home: _____Number of the children living in the shed: _____Number that are yours: _____Mother's Name: ____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Father's Name: ____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade commpleted)(Check appropriate box)Total number of vehicles you own: ___Number of vehicles that still crank: ___Number of vehicles in front yard: ___Number of vehicles in the back yard: ___Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____truck____bedroom____bathroom____kitchen____shedModel and year of your pickup: 196_Do you have a gun rack?(_)Yes (_)No; If no, please explain: Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:(_)The National Enquirer(_)The Globe(_)TV Guide(_)Soap Opera Digest(_)Rifle and ShotgunNumber of times you've seen a UFO: _____Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis: ___Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO: ____How often do you bathe?(_)Weekly(_)Monthly(_)Not ApplicableColor of eyes: Left_____ Right_____Color of hair:(_)Blond(_)Black(_)Red(_)Brown(_)White(_)ClairolColor of teeth:(_)White(_)Yellow(_)Brownish-Yellow(_)Brown(_)Black(_)N/ABrand of chewing tobacco you prefer:(_)Red-ManHow far is your home from a paved road?(_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)just a whoop-and-a-holler(_)road?

comments (0)