"Restroom Policy" joke

Notice To Employees

A Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal opportunity for employees.

Under this policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty (20) RTB credits. These credits may be accumulated indefinitely.

Within two weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms will be equipped with personnel identification stations and computer-linked voice print recognition devices.

Each employee must provide two copies of voice prints - one normal and one under stress. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during the initial introduction period. If an employee's RTB balance reaches zero, the doors to the restroom will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month.

In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors and pressure sensitive seats. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the sounding of the alarm, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will automatically flush and the stall door will open.

If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board and the first of no more than two official warnings will be issued. If a person's picture appears for a third time, it will be grounds for immediate termination.

All supervisors have received advanced training on this policy. If you have any questions, please ask your supervisor.