"Running Shoes" joke
Two guys in a jungle come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.
One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with the lion.
The second guy hisses: "What are you doing, you can't outrun the lion" And the first guy says: "No, but all I have to do is outrun you"!
You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...
1.) You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration.
2.) Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
3.) Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
4.) You plan to name more...
Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!
Q. How do u stop an Pakistani tank??. ...
A. Shoot the men who r pushing it!
Q. How do u disable pakistani missiles?
A. Cut the rubber band
Q. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of pakistanis?
A. He threatened to more...
A co-worker's favorite joke:
Two men are hiking in the mountains. One suddenly stops, removes
his hiking boots, and starts putting on sneakers. The other asks
why he is doing that.
The first man answers, "I thought I heard a bear."
The second more...
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said "its no good trying to outrun it, its catching up". The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied " I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am more...