"Running shoes" joke
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them.
The second man looked at the first, confused, and said, "What are you doing? Running shoes aren't going to help, you can't outrun that bear."
"I don't need to," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
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