"Santa on duty" joke

A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The sergeant, who was driving, motioned to the back seat and said, "Brigadier."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You have to have a sticker on the windshield."
The Brigadier yelled from the back, "Drive on!"
Banta replied, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The Brigadier repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
Banta walked up to the rear window and said, "Sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or your driver?"

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...

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Knock knock
whose there?
willy
willy who?
willy he bang me harder?

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Once A Boy Got Admission In An English Medium School. He Couldn't Talk In English. On His First Day They Were Going On A
Picnic. He Got Up Late So He Got Ready Quickly And Went For School. He Took A Shortcut And The Shortcut Was A Lake. There Was A
Man With A Boat. He more...

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Worse was the alleged rapist who stood before the judge and pleaded innocence by reason of insanity.
"Insanity?" coughed the judge. "Young man, you seem perfectly normal to me."
"Oh, I am," he admitted, "it's sex I'm crazy about."

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A teacher asked her pupils to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Mary said, "My family went to the zoo on the weekend and I was fascinated by all the animals."
"That was good, Mary," said the teacher, "but the word I want is more...

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