"Sardar's Letter" joke

Cousin Banta
Jallandhar

Dear Banta,
I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.
Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.
I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!
My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.
Uncle Balbir fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Cousin Santa
Ludhiana.
P. S: I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this by then.