"Season's Greetings" joke

Money is Short,
And Times are Hard,
So, Here's Your Fucking,
Christmas Card.
'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Everyone felt shitty,
Even the mouse.
With mom at the whorehouse,
And dad smoking grass,
I had just settled down,
For a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn,
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece,
To see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn,
I spied a big dick,
I knew in a flash,
It must be Saint Nick.
Down the chimney he came,
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment,
The old fucker fell.
He filled all our stockings,
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick,
For my brother the queer.
Then up the chimney he rose,
With a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch,
Blew the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed,
As he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all,
And have a good night.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!