"Several oneliner Joke" joke

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Jury: 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.