Triumph Jokes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Marriage is a rest period between romances. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno. Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Marriage is better when both the husband and wife decide that what they have is better than what they are missing. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. Marriage is mind over matter; if the husband doesn't mind, it doesn't matter.. Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. Marriage is the high sea more...

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, `Aren`t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?` The other replied, `Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.`
My wife`s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, `You know, I was a fool when I married you.` The husband replied, `Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn`t notice.`
`I never know how much of what I say is true.` Bette Midler
A man inserted an `ad` in the classifieds: `Wife wanted`. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: `You can have mine.`
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The only thing worse than a man you can`t control is a man you can.& Margo Kaufman
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
There is no reciprocity. Men more...

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the more...