Bliss Jokes

If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic.

Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.
Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his problem. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5.
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6.
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day more...

I'm really steamed at my wife. She is so immature!
Last night I was taking a bath and she came in and sunk all my little boats!
But I'm really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, 'My husbands home! My husband's home!'
What a gal I married!
And for everyone that's still single, some notes on marriage...
...Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
...Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
...Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss.
...Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
...Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.
...Marriage still confers one very special privilege, only a married person can get divorced!

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Marriage is a rest period between romances. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno. Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Marriage is better when both the husband and wife decide that what they have is better than what they are missing. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. Marriage is mind over matter; if the husband doesn't mind, it doesn't matter.. Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. Marriage is the high sea more...

I'm really steamed at my wife. She is so immature! Last night I was taking a bath and she came in and sunk all my little boats! But I'm really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, 'My husbands home! My husband's home!' What a gal I married! And for everyone that's still single, some notes on marriage... Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering....Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?...Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss....Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence....Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license....Marriage still confers one very special privilege, only a married person can get divorced!