"Sex Research for the Innocent Woman" joke

The following information was gained through much arduous research
involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It
consists of the most often asked questions of women (i. e..
relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are
encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their
behavior in accordance with the truths established below.
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it
comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're
not emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to
remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question.
Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at
first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or
embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural
desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf.
Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the
bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a
few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out - while
he's gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the
apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift.
He'll come back when he's ready.
Q: What is "afterplay"?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his
manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for
you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette,
making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving
him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is
important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect
male penis measures about 3 inches. Anything longer than that is
extremely rare &, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4
inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky
stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his
laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.
Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth.

oh what the hell.... i'm bored.... i'll keep posting all this crap...