"Shellfish" joke
Why don't lobsters share?
They're shellfish.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Little Connie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mom?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the more...
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey more...
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "
I'm so pissed off !"
"
Oh yeah? What happened?"
asked the bartender politely.
"
See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me more...