"Before you criticize someone..." joke
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
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ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
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your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number
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