Criticism Jokes

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Q: how do you get a one arm pollock out of a tree? A: you wave at him

Life is like a dick, when its hard, fuck it!

Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party.
A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

theres this first grade teacher that is teaching her students how to read. she bakes cookies for the class.
when the kids come in from recess they all sit in their seats.
the teacher asked, "does anyone want to tell me what you did at recess today?"
sally raises her hand and says, "I played in the sand box."
"Okay," said the teacher, "If you can spell sand on the board I will give you a cookie." she does it.
Ben raises his hand and says " I played in the sand box too!"
"Okay if you can spell box on the board I will give yu aa cookie." So he does it.
Mae-he Mahamid riases his hand and says (with an accent) "I wanted to play in da sand box, but ben and sally wouldnt let me."
"That is blunt racial descrimination," said the teacher, "if you can spell blunt racial descrimination on the board i will give you a cookie."