"Shellfish Crab" joke

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach.
The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.
Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it too.
When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed "Where's my ice cream cone?
"Well", he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."
She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!"

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

200
79

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.4. Say, more...

4
1

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

193
70

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

226
101

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

371
193
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 1 vote(s). 100% are positive. 0 comment(s).