"Signs Your Librarian is Nuts" joke

1. Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively licks the inside cover.
2. Flashes patrons and yells, "Hey! Check THIS out!"
3. No matter what book you ask for, she hands you the book "Libraries for Dummies."
4. When you ask for an appendix, (s)he winks suggestively and shows you (his)her scar.
5. Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of Literary Tardiness".
6. Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the parking lot.
7. Inserts revealing photos of him/herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
8. Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", which involves regular belts of scotch.
9. Instead of a simple "Shhhh," uses a bullhorn to say, "One more sound and I'm calling the cops!"

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