"Signs that Tell the Story:" joke

In a toilet of an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WILL THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
In an office lunchroom: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
In health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
In a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
At a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
In a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a leaflet: IF YOU CAN'T READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR; THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)