"Signs you have a bad french doctor" joke

You go to him for a separated shoulder, and he suggests you rub a croissant on the affected area three times a day
He tells you that your deodorant is giving you headaches and that you should take fewer showers
Insists on watching Jerry Lewis telethon tapes during open heart surgery
Prescribes "butter, and plenty of it!"
Fills your IV bag with Beaujolais Nouveau
Suggests radical "brie implant"
In the middle of your checkup, lets a German doctor bully his way into being your new primary care physician
Tells you to smoke two packs and call him in the morning
White lab coat embroidered with Pepe LePew holding caduceus symbol
Recommends surgery, you say no way, and he immediately surrenders
Skips out, leaves you to pay the check at a Vietnamese restaurant
Asks, "So what I misdiagnosed you, monsieur? I work for the government and cannot ever be fired. Vive longtemps le mdecine sociale!" (c) Daily Wonk Lists