"Signs your video project is going to suck" joke

The technician who signs out your camera can't stop laughing
Your cold makes your voice sound like Jerry Lewis
"The friggin thing's warped"
The second after your batteries stop charging, they're completely dead
Your B-roll has poppy seeds [bah-dum]
Everyone you interview insists on speaking in pig-latin
Your editing room is titled "Hell"
The footage is 32 hours of feet
Title: Mailboxes, Big and Small
We had a video project due?!
[I'm perfectly willing to explain anything you found confusing. I tried to stay away from techie terms, but I do write these lists for my *own* amusement... :)]