"Slaps For Bad Space Movie" joke

1st SLAP
"Our ship has just lost 82% of its power, our captain's head fused with plexiglass and we have an eleven minute window to escape certain death. Let's go to bed together."
2nd SLAP
"The evil bad guy, who has demonstrated Superman-like strength, has just killed two of our crew. Let's split up and walk aimlessly through the ship looking for him."
3rd SLAP
"I just found an unknown, odd, bizarrely pulsating alien object. I'm gonna open it up and stick my hand in it to see what happens."
4th SLAP
"We just picked you up from an abandoned moon in deep space and you can read my mind, which no other human being has ever been able to do. Neat. Let's go to bed."
5th SLAP
"We are a medical rescue ship with a crew of six with only six 'jump pods' so if we ever actually rescued anyone, we wouldn't be able to actually bring them home."
SLAP!!!