Slap Jokes

A young Marine and his commanding officer climbed on board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. The only place they could find to sit was right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it became obvious that the young woman and the young soldier were interested in each other, but the young woman kept glancing nervously at her grandmother.

Soon the train passed into a pitch black tunnel. There was the sound of a passionate kiss followed by the sound of a stinging slap. When the train emerged from the tunnel, the four sat there without saying a word.

The grandmother thought to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, and I'm glad she slapped him."

The commanding officer sat there thinking: "I figured he'd try to steal a kiss, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"

The young woman was sitting and more...

Bush, Manmohan(indian prime minister), Aishwarya rai and Sonia(sonia gandhi head of opposition in indian goverment) are traveling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make more...

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train.

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: “These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him”

Madhuri is thinking: “Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped. ”

Musharraf is thinking: “Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me. ”

Vajpayee is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and more...

One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Larrys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Larry mixed up with your Larry, and her Larry mixed up with your Larry." The other two ladies agree. The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Larry 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!" The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives. Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Larry Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week." Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives. The third lady then says, "You know, those two Larrys were good, but I'm gonna name my Larry, Jack Daniels." The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!" The third lady bursts out, "That's my Larry!!"

There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking:' The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking:' The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.'

And the Scotsman was thinking:' This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English b**tard again.