"Smart Kid" joke
Timmy, age 4 went to see Santa for the first time, and he asked
Santa for lots of toys. The next day, his mother and Timmy had
to go out and do some more shopping. They saw Santa again and
Timmy sat on Santas lap a second time.
When Santa asked Timmy what he wanted for Christmas, he said in a
questioning voice "But I told you what I wanted yesterday!?
Santa quickly covered himself by quickly saying that he thought
Timmy might have thought of something else to add to his list.
When they went out again a few days later, Timmy asked his mother
if Santa was going to be there. She promptly told him he would.
Timmy thought a bit then said "I thought of something else to add
to my list then."
"What is that? asked Mom.
"Why an elf, of course. replied Timmy.
"An elf? Whatever do you want an elf for? queried Mom.
"Why ask for toys when I can ask for elves, replied Timmy, "and
have them build me all the toys I'll ever need?
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...