"Snail at a Bar" joke

An angry bartender was closing up for the night when he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door, didn't see anybody, and was about to close the door when a voice called, "Hey, down here."
The bartender looked down and saw a snail.
"Hey," the snail asked, "How about a drink?"
The angry bartender snarled, "First of all, we're closed. Secondly, we don't serve snails."
And with that, the bartender kicked the snail all the way across the street.
A month later, the same angry bartender was closing up for the night when there was a knock at the door. He opened the door, and there was the same snail from last month.
"You know," the snail said, "you didn't have to kick me."

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

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There once was a magical bridge. A wise man told a blonde, brunette, and a red head that if they ran across it and wished to be any thing it would happen. So the next day all three of them went to the bridge. The red head went first. "I wish I was a dove!" and poof she more...

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