"Speeding Ticket" joke

A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding. Officer: May I see your drivers license? Driver: I dont have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owners card for this vehicle? Driver: Its not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Thats right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owners card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: Theres a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. Thats where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: Theres a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whos car is this?
Driver: Its mine, officer. Heres the owner card. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if theres a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but theres no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said theres a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I dont understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didnt have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, Ill bet the lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding, too.

comments (0)