"Splitting Sides" joke

NEW AUSSIE SLANG DICTIONARY, 2002 AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached or dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB
A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia
BEER COAT
The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a
booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live,
how you got there, and where you've come from.
BRUCE LEE
Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG The female erection.
DOUBLE BASS
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her
Budgie's tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
ETCH-A-SKETCH
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both her nipples simultaneously.
FREE THE TADPOLES
Liberate the residents of the Wank Tanks.
GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
A vigorous masturbation session.
McSPLURRY
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually f***-all in there worth seeing.
MUMBLER
An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc i.e.you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.
NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED)
Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-pinter.
STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT
A homosexual
SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman
TEN-PINTER
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
TITANIC
A lady who goes down the first time out.
X-PILES
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.