"Srilankan Philosophy!" joke

Confucious say:
>>>>>
>>>>> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
>>>>>
>>>>> It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better
>>>>> for boy to park meat in girl.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Baseball wrong--man with four balls cannot walk.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
>>>>>
>>>>> Learn to masturbate--come in handy.
>>>>>
>>>>> Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
>>>>>
>>>>> Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.
>>>>>
>>>>> Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone.