"Stranded On An Island" joke

A man was stranded on a desert island for twelve years. One day, as he was sitting on the beach, a beautiful woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear suddenly emerged from the water.
She approached him and asked, "Would you like a cigarrette?"
"Oh, yes!" replied the surprised man. "It's been twelve long years since I've had a smoke."
She unzipped a pocket in her wet suit, pulled out a pack of cigarrettes and gave him one. After lighting it, he took a long drag and said, "Boy, that sure is good."
"Would you care for a drink?" she asked.
"You bet! It's been twelve long years since I've had a drink," he replied.
She then unzipped another pocket, pulled out a flask of scotch and gave it to him. After taking a few long gulps, he said, "Man, that is sweet!"
"Now," she asked seductively, "would you like to play around?"
"Hallelujah!" he exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes. "You mean you have golf clubs in there too?!?"

your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

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A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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