"Stress Diet (from sci.med)" joke

The following diet has been circulated at one of the local
clinics. Some may find it stimulating.
BREAKFAST:
---
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz skim milk
LUNCH:
--
4 oz lean Broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo Cookie
Herb tea
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
--
Rest of package of Oreos
1 qt. rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge
DINNER:
--
2 loaves garlic bread
Large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
Large pitcher beer (any brand - it all comes from the same horse, anyway)
3 Milky Way bars
Entire Sara Lee cheesecake - direct from freezer.
DIET TIPS
If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel
each other out.
When eating with someone else, calories don't count if
you both eat the same amount.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts such as:
Hot Chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
If YOU fatten up EVERYONE ELSE around you-then YOU
look thinner.
Movie related foods don't count because they are simply
part of the entire entertainment experience and not part of
one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra
butter, and Junior Mints.
Scotty