"TOP TEN SANTA WARNING SIGNS" joke

10. Last year, he described his sleigh as an "open transport."
This year, nobody will support it.
9. Offers to let you in on the ground floor of Wired stock.
8. Keeps peeking at a black and yellow paperback called
"Santa for Dummies."
7. Stuffs your stocking with AOL sign-up disks.
6. Hands out Tickle-Me Ellison dolls.
5. Logged on to the Internet relay chat channel "gift gab"
and hasn't been heard from since.
4. Won't touch your cookies.
3. He made his list, but he cross-linked it twice.
2. Misread something in a chat room and thought he could send
gifts as email attachments.
1. Says Christmas96 is still in beta... wait till February.