"The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left" joke

Rush Limbaugh announced the following on his TV show, June 29. It was reprinted in the July 1, {Washington [DC] Times}. He stated that with all the attacks on the "religious right" by the liberals, it was time to find out what their agenda was, so without further delay, here is
The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left (in no particular order):
Thou shalt have no other God except thyself, after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
Thou shalt not make any gravn image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
Remember the anniversaries of {Roe v. Wade} and Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
Honor thy mother. If she's dysfunctional, it's thy father's fault.
Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms under the second trimester, and those opting for medically assisted suicides.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless thou aspirest to high political office, weareth a condom, or cannot help it.
Thou shalt not steal. Unless thou art disadvantaged or upset with a [California] jury verdict.
Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless thou are discussing the history of the 1980s, art campaigning, or can afford good legal counsel in the event thou art discovered.
Thou shalt not covet. Unless thou art the victim of gender-related oppression or institutional racism, or art still angy with Reagan's tax cuts.
Always hide the real truth about thyself.
Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for office.
Always blame someone else for what thou art - even so far as to blame the entire society.
Thou shalt oppose all punishment - except when conservative Republicans or religious right people criticise thee.