"The 3 convicts." joke

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed totake one item with them to help them occupy their time whileincarcerated.On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did youbring?"The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that heintended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the"Grandma Moses of Jail".Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I broughtcards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What didyou bring?"The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I broughtthese!"The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do withthose?"He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to thebox.. I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...

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A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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