"The 9 Types of Girlfriends" joke
Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormatAdvantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindlyDisadvantages: May wise up somedayOld Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from HellAdvantages: Pays attention to youDisadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pansSickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, GlumpyAdvantages: PredictableDisadvantages: ContagiousThe Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom Advantages: Often rightDisadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career? goals?" Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon HoneyAdvantages: Easily soothedDisadvantages: Even more easily perturbedWild Woman out of Control - "Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed outAdvantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeysDisadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffsHuffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, SnarlyAdvantages: Your friends will feel sorry for youDisadvantages: You will have no friendsWoman from Mars - "I believe this dance will explain how I feel about you" Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, ArtisticAdvantages: Entertaining, unfathomableDisadvantages: Will read her poetry aloudMs. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are"Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, GorgeousAdvantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibitedDisadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you
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