"The Aristocrats" joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The father begins...
"The curtain raises, I am centre stage in my finest tuxedo suit with my draling wife by my side, my wife then drops to her knees facing the audience who quickly notice she is not wearing any panties as a big brown log of shit emerges slowly from her ass, I begin to sing 'Yankee Doodle' while my daughter unzips my fly and pulls my cock out and begins to suck me off, meanwhile my son slides across the stage and catches the shit emerging from my wife's ass, chews it around a bit then sprays it all over the rest of us, then Rusty the dog comes on stage and we all take turns ass-fucking the dog, my wife and daughter use their fists up to their elbows which near-on tears Rusty's ass in half. We all then take turns pissing on each other and shitting on the stage, then we take off our shoes and start pounding the shit, cum and piss, and blood into the stage boards like crushing grapes to make wine. And there's the beauty, my wife then reaches deep into my ass, right up to her shoulder and retrieves with her blood and shit soaked hand five fine crystal goblets and one drinking straw. We scoop up glasses full of our freshly trampled faeces, cum, blood and piss into the glasses and toast the Queen, the straw is for Rusty.
Curtain closes to loud applause."
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
Not enough votes...